i want a child

I want a child. Not because I like kids, but without one, I would be a failure of a woman. I want one for the sake of saying I am a good person because I keep them alive. It shouldn't matter if they are happy because I am not hurting them and am working to keep a roof over their head. I want a child to make up for all the sacrifice I made. If my parents pressured me to be successful because they were immigrants and never had anything growing up, I need to do the same for my own kids, right? They are not allowed to complain because they would be spoiled infinitely more than I ever was. They have to be smart and get good grades so I can go and brag about how much better they are in comparison to other kids and so they can do what I never could. They have to be able to all they activities I did growing up and more because that's the bare minimum. And if they have some sort of learning disability or other struggle in that sense, then tough luck. If having to seek professional help is a sign I'm not doing a good job at parenting, then that is completely off the table. They have to learn how to be independent and learn to take care of themselves because I would be too busy making money to pay for all their things. They have to be grateful because I had to go through the trauma of labor and then keep working to spoil them. And my child should know to do all of this not because "I'm nowhere near as demanding as my parents were on me". And no, it was never to make up for my own issues. It's how they repay me for all the love I give them.